Let’s face it — sooner or later, the vast majority of us will have to pack our bags and bid this city farewell. And while a list of things we won’t miss about Moscow might well fill a book, even the most raving of Russophobes would admit that there are certain charms that belong to the Russian capital alone. Here are a few of them, in no particular order, to prepare us for the day when we will say goodbye.

1. Sushi at 5am
It shouldn’t exist, but it does. Raw fish shouldn’t be so easy to get in a landlocked city, but it is. In spite of your mind’s warnings, your cravings get the best of you and, soaked with drink after a night on the dance floor, you make your way to a cafe and order Philadelphia rolls at the crack of dawn. And enjoy them.

2. Pirated Music and Movies
Who needs Blockbuster when copyright infringement is so easy? No sooner does a movie hit theaters back home than it is available, in varying degrees of visibility and quality of sound, on tables in Moscow underpasses. Couple that with kiosks that sell mp3 collections featuring every album released by your favorite pop, rock, jazz and hip hop group on one disc for as little as 100 rubles (about $4), and you wonder why you ever bothered buying licensed CDs.

3. High Culture at Low Prices
Since when does high culture have to mean high prices? While seats for a Boney M. show might cost 5,000-rubles each, Moscow has pianists whose fingers jump at the opportunity to play, no matter what the pay. Tickets to full operas, grand orchestral performances and theatrical productions can be had for as little as 50 rubles — every night of the week, in multiple places.

4. Ethnic diversity
Look in the mirror and ask yourself this question: How many Mordvinians do I know back in Boise, Idaho? Contrary to what many who have never been here believe, Moscow is as diverse as any major metropolis in the world. Here you will find all the various peoples of Russia — Cossacks, Buryats, Gypsies, Jews, Tatars, and Koreans, just to name a few — rubbing shoulders with Georgians, Uzbeks, Ukrainians, Latvians and the rest of the folks from the CIS, as well as more than a few Chinese, Turks, Nigerians and, of course, some Yanks and Europeans added for extra flavor. Throw in the Russians, who tend to come in a whole bunch of shapes and sizes themselves, and you have a mix that is sometimes explosive, often confusing — but always interesting, enriching and educational.

5. Rynoks
Open-air food markets in the States are usually thought to be strictly for hippies or yuppies –– but not here. Granted, not every one of the Moscow vendors selling their bundles of fresh herbs and piles of plump fruits and vegetables picked their produce that morning, but it’s definitely better than what Perekrostok or Sedmoi Continent has to offer. Where else can you get gargantuan tomatoes from Uzbekistan, or sulguni cheese from Georgia, or the famous Azerbaijani purple carrot? Best of all, you can actually bargain here if you think the price is too high. Just try doing that at Safeway.

6. Banya
Who doesn’t enjoy getting naked and drinking with all their friends? Add to that a sauna, a couple of pools and, often, a table full of food, and you’ve got the banya, a site for socializing that really ought to spread to the rest of the world. Pictures taken there can be a bit dicey . . . but great for potential blackmail. And the birch branches can leave marks you’ll remember forever. In a good way.

7. Huge Jugs of Beer
Russians love their beer, so much so that brewers have taken to canning and bottling ever-larger servings of suds. While the standard dosage comes in .5 liter bottles, Baltika recently upped the ante with a 1-liter can, which, while impressive, can’t compare with the reigning heavyweight champion — Tolstyak’s 5-liter plastic jug, complete with handy handle for easy carrying. What a country!

8. Settling Things “Po Chelovechesky”
Corruption and bribe-taking is a cancer on society that must be eradicated if Russia is ever to call itself a truly civilized country — but that didn’t stop you from laying a few hundred rubles on that gaishnik this morning, did it? The fact is, in a society where not playing by the rules is a rule, it sometimes makes sense to go with the flow. Need some papers stamped in a hurry at your local UVIR? A box of chocolates and a bottle of cognac and old Lyudmila Nikolayevna will move you right to the front of the line. Worried about your pregnant wife in the hospital? Slip the head doc a c-note and she’ll get all the attention she needs. Of course, all of this bad karma will come back to haunt you when you open a business and find that the tax inspector, fire safety marshal, bird flu committee and their friends all pay you a visit, threatening to close you down unless…But hey, there’s a flip side to everything.

9. the Moscow Metro
In a country where few things run on time, Moscow’s metro is a wonder of speed and efficiency. Where else can you count on a train arriving within 90 seconds during rush hour? How many other metros have stations that can double as museums? The fact is, the Moscow metro holds the distinction of having the biggest ridership of any of the world’s metro systems (about 8 million passengers per day, or 3.2 billion annually) and it gets them to work and back every day with a minimum amount of hassle — not counting, of course, predatory policeman, aggressive drunks and the occasional mob of skinheads. All for a mere 19 rubles!

10. Georgian Food
Addicted to the khachapuri at Genatsvale? Better get a double order next time, because chances are, they won’t have them back home. It’s one of the world’s biggest culinary mysteries (or just a prime example of what happens when you have a lack of PR): despite the universally agreed upon deliciousness of Georgian food, restaurants serving Georgian cuisine are few and far between anywhere outside of the CIS. Better make those khachapuri to go!

11. Bizzarro Fashion
Where else can you sport your Speedos with pride or wear a mink fur without getting spit on? Where else can a Chihuahua become a fashion accessory or a man put on skintight jeans, knee-high boots and a waist-long leather jacket and be considered a stylish heterosexual? Moscow’s Alice-in-Wonderland sense of fashion lets you experiment with impunity, trying out all the looks that would be considered excessive, improper or just plain weird at home. So wear that leopard-print skirt while you can — one day it will be nothing more than a memento.

12. Choice of Vodka
After getting used to a selection of about 15 different vodkas in most every neighborhood grocery here, the standard choice of Absolut or Smirnoff found elsewhere feels terribly inadequate. And while a $10-bottle of totally decent vodka –– an easy find here –– is a beautiful thing, perhaps what’s best about the selection is that it covers so many gradations of amount, quality and price. Where else can you find a 100-ruble Putinka for screwdrivers, a black-label Russkii Standart for shots and an imported Grey Goose for keeping around the house to impress people? Whether the mornings after will be missed as much is another story.

13. People Who Know How to Drink Vodka
You don’t drink it on the rocks, stir it or put silly-looking fruit on the rim of your glass. Vodka drinkers here know there’s only one way to imbibe the clear stuff — chilled, in a shot glass with a whiff of pickle as your only chaser. Master the art, and you’ll have your martini-sipping pals back home awed (and perhaps a bit concerned).

14. May 9 Holidays
Some Russian holidays — like that one in November that changes its name every few years — seem pointless. Others, however, mark something that truly deserves a celebration…like, um…victory over a dark power that was one Panzer tank away from world domination, for instance? To say that World War II hit the Soviet Union hard would be a massive understatement: 20 million dead, many more wounded, dislocated or imprisoned, and yet the people managed to pull together and chase those bums all the way back to Berlin. After all that, who can complain about a

15. Gypsy Cabs
Try this back home sometime: go to the darkest, most out of the way street in your city at 3 a.m., stand at the side of the road and stick out your hand like you’re trying to hail a cab. Chances are, you’ll be standing there for weeks. Try it in Moscow and within minutes a Zhiguli will pull up, the driver leaning over to open the passenger-side door and ask “Vam kuda?” Enjoy this one while it lasts — if inflation and fuel costs keep driving gypsy cab prices higher, we’ll all be riding the bus before long.

16. Beer in Movie Theaters
When Jules wows Vincent in Pulp Fiction by telling him that the French can drink beer in movie theaters, you looked at your cup of Diet Coke with disappointment. There’s nothing like a frothy cold one to help you deal with the fact that those people in the movie theater that aren’t talking to their friends are talking on their cell phones.

17. Summer
No more icy sidewalks. No more over-heated apartments. No more biting wind. After six months of winter, all the things you think may never end all suddenly do, in a glorious explosion of green leaves and outdoor verandas, 10 p.m. sunsets and boulevard parties –– summer, in short, the sweetest time of Moscow’s year. Sure, summer is the great apotheosis of most any temperate climate, but here it seems somehow magical; the enchantment of the three months makes you forget the horrors of winter and remember why Moscow can be a great place to live.

From The Moscow Times